A Profound Experience

Wednesday, October 9th, Day 3:  Thank God, I woke up feeling so much better today.  Today was even more incredible than the past 2 days, if that is even possible.  I mean, WoW! These past three days have been the most profound of my 53 years of life and I still have 2 days left. I am a very changed human being in more ways than anyone can imagine.

I have totally immersed myself into the training and ultimately, into the world of being Autistic. The deep understanding I have gained of Summer, and any other human with Autism, has been life changing for me.

I have thrown all caution to the wind and put myself out there in every way this week. I have listened with a set of ears I didn’t even know I had. I have done every exercise both physical and mental, with complete abandon.

I have experienced and felt the anxiety and frustration Summer goes through daily. I have felt a small part of the overwhelming and annoying barrage of overstimulation and mis-understanding she experiences every second of her everyday in the “real” world.

I have bared my soul, shared my deepest fears, and cried at the microphone as I told 41 strangers from all over the world of the guilt I carry with me everyday for not being stronger and not listening to my innermost self when she got that MMR shot and ultimately, I have been carrying around the guilt that I robbed my daughter of her best life when she was injured by that vaccine. I was finally in a place where others understood, others knew the pain I have known, they supported, they clapped for me, hugged me and gave me a safe place and it was all I needed to help me heal.  I left all that guilt right there in that chair, in that room.

Today, I spent almost 5 hours with Raun K. Kaufman and 5 other “parents of verbal children”. It was incredible!!! I learned about the skills I need to help Summer overcome and the skills that Summer needs to overcome. I learned new and exciting techniques that I can’t wait to get home and incorporate into our lives. I learned that there is hope and a path for healing and curing her! And, I have a deep belief that this will be our outcome!

I received answers to all of my questions. I see the bigger picture not only for Summer, but for me too. I feel refreshed and renewed, focused and on fire! I have a new calling that God has put on my heart. I need to help others go through this experience too and in the right time, after I get my beautiful baby girl rocking and rolling. I want to help bring the Son-Rise Program to others and, I will start in New Jersey. And anyone who knows me, knows! I will.

But first… Summer is calling me!

Thank you forever Autism Treatment Center of America