Son-Rise Opened My Eyes!

Tuesday, October 8th, Day 2:  I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling so great, in fact, I felt like a truck drove over me.  Was I sick?  Was I emotionally detoxing from yesterday?  I really let it all in and out yesterday.  This is the first time I am alone and away in 4 years.  Could be a combination of it all.  Bottom line, there was no way it was going to get in the way of this experience.  I brought my bag of tricks and started taking Vit D, C, Oregano Oil Capsules, Silver Colloidal.  Missing my Hepar Sulph, but I had my shakes so I could skip the formal breakfast for some extra sleep.  Hopefully I can kick this out of me and not ruin the entire week.  I ended up not having a room-mate, so I could come back and sleep as much as possible during breaks.

Today, despite not feeling well and having a pretty bad cough, ended up being amazing and provided me a ton of A-Ha! moments and tears.  We spent a good deal of time talking about overstimulation, stimulation and the ins and outs, stims, or “isms” of a child with autism.  It was pretty emotional for me because I hadn’t realized how much my daughter was stimming, or what I now call “ism’ing”.  I really gained a good understanding of what she is doing and why she is doing it.  As I was sitting and taking notes, I was also realizing some of the things that are causing her to get overstimulated and retreat into her world of ism’s.

It wasn’t until we had a video exercise that I really gained a small understanding of what someone with Autism goes through 24×7, 365 days a year.  We watched a 2 minute long video that just 30 seconds in started to make me feel uncomfortable and fidgety.  Then as it went on, I was getting annoyed and bothered.  I wanted to leave the room.  The last 30 seconds felt like hours to me.  I was so angry, agitated, felt frenetic and frantic and didn’t want to hear anything from anyone.  I just wanted to go outside and stand in the middle of the woods away from everyone.  I cried at the end of that exercise and so did the other parents in the room.  It gave us the smallest glimpse of the struggles they constantly deal with inside of their brain.

It was a full day of ignoring that I was feeling like garbage.  I grabbed a quick soup and salad for dinner and am typing this in my room real quick before I go to bed.  I am hoping I wake up tomorrow feeling much better.  I know that I am already feeling really great about this program and being able to implement it at home.  We are getting tangible exercises and things to “go do” and it’s a huge relief that I have finally found something that will be able to help change my daughter’s life.  Feeling so blessed I was able to attend this training.  I can actually feel myself changing,